CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
