i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
