So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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