i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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