I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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