Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
