Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
