i permit you to call me
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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