I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
