dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
