yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Randomize
