let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
