got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Come share oat with me in your robe
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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