My sheets look like a crime scene.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
