i barfeds in our rink
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
