You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
