Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
