Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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