there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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