Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
