The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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