did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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