My room smells like vodka and shame
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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