You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
