Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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