who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
