once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
You are a genius and a whore.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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