I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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