He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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