you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
She even gives head with a lisp.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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