those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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