You really coming over, don't trick.
Yo dont text me then not text me
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
