I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
