oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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