Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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