I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I want to fling myself into the sun
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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