YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
