Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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