You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
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