Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
