btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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