Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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