At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
