So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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