i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
