Already got asked if we're dating
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
