Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Sext me about skeletons
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
