She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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