just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
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