Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
